I am... Sammi Hillen

I am…

I am Sammi Hillen, a weary senior with a passion for music and a newly founded work ethic worth noticing.

I am a quiet wallflower, a hermit and shy, except around people that I both trust and love.

I am a steep build up and an explosion of deep, earth rattling bass.

I am the insect of worry that taps on your brain and keeps you up for hours when all you want to do is sleep.

I am the horrific and gruesome nightmares that prevent the foreign safety of black sleep.

I am catch-up sleep on weekends.

I am twin B to one, who is just like me, but tuned to a different frequency.

I am the soft glow of sunset, signaling fun times and (finally) peace in the thrill of falling into the escape of entertainment and “night life”.

I am annoyed, fed up, put out, bothered, irked, sore, angry, irritated.

I am grateful, joyous, thrilled, happy, content, exhilarated, relieved, ecstatic.

I am the whiplash of spontaneous emotion.

I am always working. And working and working and working and working and working and working.

I am the liberation of a hard day’s work, and the glowing feeling of accomplishment.

I am the harmonious vivid description of monsters, wandering in and out of my Stephen King books.

I am the occasional provider of funds while my mom recovers and gets a job.

I am the enervated remnants of uncertainty and ambivalence present in my mother’s eyes.

I am a torn-off hospital admittance band and hiding in my hoodie all day, every day.

I am constantly cowering from the thought of love; I only remember the hurt.

I am filled with hope that the future will not be as arduous and draining as the past.