The Final Post... :,(

1.       We’ve done lots of different things this quarter. I’ve done Poetry, Book Reports, a Short Story, and even analytical piece or two. These were very interesting to me, and it was fun to stick our toes in the water of new types of writing.

2.       I’ve really enjoyed looking at and responding to all of the other classmate’s posts. I hadn’t realized there was so much talent in one room, or that certain people were so advanced  in their writing styles. I also liked e.e. Cumming’s   work, particularly the one about how if his love should love another. I could really relate to it, and I felt like he expressed the emotions involved in that type of situation really well.

3.       I really like setting up and customizing things, like this blog. I try to find pictures based on my mood, and I try to write about things that explain the way I feel.  Sometimes it’s like, if I could just write about my emotions, I  can eventually get over them and move on with my life. I’m actually pretty proud of a few things I’ve written. It’s been years since I’ve really sat down and tried, and it felt great. I hope I’ll have time to keep writing, and I know of a few people that might be kind of interested in it.

4.       I like journaling, it’s almost like brainstorming. I just have difficulty in keeping something that isn’t very good in my eyes, so it would be frustrating to keep myself from ripping half the pages out. I’ve been journaling for years though, and I don’t see why I shouldn’t keep it up. So far the only ones that have read what I’ve written are my twin, my best friend, and a couple boyfriends. I think the things I would want to share would end up on my blog.

5.       Magazine Clippings:

Like discovering a reason for being,

A time to care becomes the ultimate luxury.

FEEL GOOD NOW (a striking resemblance, but guess again!)

Designed to keep you sound asleep and wide awake,

Battling the blues.

6.  This Is..

6.

This is an escape.

The one place you can be with a thousand strangers

And a thousand life-long friends

Where everyone is moving to the rhythm

Of a deep angry bass

Threaded with the sweet disengaging melody

Of tortured souls and lost love

Fury pounds through the speakers

And through the veins of us all

All alone

All together

As one

The need to feel something more

Than just the average contentment

And the frustration

Of wanting nothing but the (ever-familiar) numb indifference

Knowing emotion is reawakened

Leaving us breathless as we fight the battle

Against each other

Our brothers

And Between the shelter of silence

And this newfound sense

of emotion.

Posted by Sammi Hillen at 12:41 PM

7.       I think it would be totally rad to be an author for a living. It’s something I really enjoy doing, and I’ve been told I’m alright at it. In reality, it’s very hard to sell your stories and make people want to buy them, especially with so much competition in the world today, so I would probably only write recreationally. I try to keep my opinions and my feelings out of my work at school, so there’s a big difference there, but otherwise I just try to stay organized and let my thoughts run out on the paper.

8.       My biggest appreciation/encouragement/source of inspiration bit goes out to Kayla Guthrie. I got really bored one day and started reading every one’s blogs, and I have to say, she’s one of the most talented author/poets I think I’ve had the pleasure of reading. I love how she uses her words to really paint a picture- she even makes you think about all the colors involved in the scene she’s picturing, and I’ve never read anyone’s work that could make visualized so vividly. As creepy as it sounds, thank you Kayla, I’ve really really enjoyed reading your work, and I think you could definitely have a future in it if you wanted to.

9.       I want to thank you, Mrs. Fraser and Mrs. Ferkel. I’ve had so much fun in this class, and it was great to have my writing supported, and even support with the things I’ve written about. One of the most powerful things in life is the mind of a teacher- you are influencing hundreds of kids to be the best they can be. You help mold the thoughts of the future. It’s really great knowing I have such great people teaching me! Thank you so much for an awesome class!

Dan in Real Life

2. I think the tips I would give to parents of teenagers are:

· Be assertive about your rules

· Keep an open line of communication

· Value his/her opinions, otherwise they'll want to rebel.

· Compromise is key!!!

11. I never found the good hiding spots, but my dad would get up in the hallway and prop himself on the walls above our heads. We never found him, at least until he got tired anyway.

14. It's hard for me to explain. I think there's one true love out there for us all, but i think a  lot of people are close to the same frequency, enough to make you happy.

16. I’m not too great at a lot of things, but I’m actually really awesome at work. I work in the kitchen area of McDonald’s, and anytime they get too backed up or things need to get done back there, they call me. I’ve even been referred to as the “Grill God”. I take a lot of pride in my work, and I’m very happy to be working there, even if everyone else says that’d be a terrible thing to do. All I have to say is, believe it or not, I’m making more money than a bunch of kids here, and that’s not something to be ashamed about.

20. I think listening and your input make you a good conversationalist.

27. I don't think parents get as much credit as they should. I usually find myself doing things my parent’s way to make them happy. I tried rebelling once- It just caused a bunch of hurt feelings and resentment on both sides, and I did it all for some guy that cheated on me. You need to value your family as much as you can. They'll let you down, but everyone else lets you down so much more.

Ice Storm!

I remember laughing and playing in the snow. We were too old to play, but something about the white crystal palace our street had become beckoned us to do something.

I remember a full week of sleepless nights, when my electric fan was powerless, and wishing I could get past the cold.

I remember being stuck inside my house, trying to huddle next to the fire so I could read without the book shaking from my hands.

I remember going with my dad to help my grandparents with firewood, who had hung big sheets of fabric from the ceiling, trying to corner the heat into one place.

I remember my damned dog, running around, trying to carry a tree limb in his mouth like it was a twig, slipping and sliding and tripping with a wagging tail, and everyone around me laughing.

That Picture of That One Lady

I am quiet, though I should not be.

I am the searing sun, beating down on the dirt, baking away whatever coolness resides underneath.

I am the flawed stitching that holds lank fabric, blowing in the afternoon breeze.

I am the anger of injustice.

I am the grinding of an already stripped joint.

I am the adoring look in my children’s eyes.

I am hurt when they are.

I am screaming to deaf ears.

I am hurt, bitter, tired, and sick.

Mooovviiieess

I don’t really have a favorite movie, but I do enjoy watching them. I just can’t choose one! I really like Inception, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Forrest Gump, Titanic, Braveheart, Moulin Rouge, Atlantis, etc, etc. I don’t get to watch too many movies nowadays, mostly because I’m usually at work, or at school, or sleeping. You can never go wrong with some nice snacks and drinks with movies, and my living room is awesome to chill in for a couple of hours. That survey said I like the escapist movies, along with the thrill seeking and violence. I suppose that’s fair enough.  I just really can’t stand the super unnecessarily gory movies, like Saw or whatever. If my life story was made into a movie… well I really don’t see that happening, and in all honesty, I have no idea who would play me.

This is...

This is an escape.

The one place you can be with a thousand strangers

And a thousand life-long friends

Where everyone is moving to the rhythm

Of a deep angry bass

Threaded with the sweet disengaging melody

Of tortured souls and lost love

Fury pounds through the speakers

And through the veins of us all

All alone

All together

As one

The need to feel something more

Than just the average contentment

And the frustration

Of wanting nothing but the (ever-familiar) numb indifference

Knowing emotion is reawakened

Leaving us breathless as we fight the battle

Against eachother

Our brothers

And Between the shelter of silence

And this newfound sense

of emotion.

Window Poem

I see a busy bank parking lot, where people half-jog in and out of the glass doors.
To the left there is a tightly packed street. Hundreds of worker bees move through the lights.
Today, it almost seems like there is a massive sense of urgency, like the street will disappear if the cars don't push through fast enough.
Sometimes, when it's late and the stoplight down the way starts flashing, you can almost imagine what it would be like if the world were deserted, robbed of any disease or humanity.
Rain pelts the pavement, and the clouds hover right above the street lights.
A homeless man pushes his way through the wind, his hand sheilding his eyes.
Still yet the cars hustle their way to their ever-important destinations, like blood through veins.

Off in the distance you can see a flash of light in the sky, and hear the powerful rumble of thunder.

Picture Poetry

Sometimes, if you just hold it in, it makes life that much better. You don’t feel as overwhelmed as you did before. In fact, you feel a little lost. But not really. You know in your heart of hearts that you’ll find your way back eventually. Or at least, you hope to god that you do. Right now you have to focus on what your feelings really look like. What you mean when you say those petty phrases- I love. I hate. I feel. Good. Great, in fact. What were you so upset about in the first place? You know (even deeper in that heart of hearts) that this flows from you. You are not the creator, nor do your ideas and opinions matter. You are simply the conduct. Some sort of unknown celestial passageway to that deep ocean of emotion you know everyone feels. The rage and frustration comes from not knowing which shade can show your darkest hour. Or what tint tells your fairytale. The sorrow is when you give up.

Sometimes

if you just hold it in

it makes life that much better.

You don’t feel as overwhelmed as you did before.

In fact, you feel a little lost. But not really.

You know in your heart of hearts that you’ll find your way back eventually.

Or at least, you hope to god that you do.

Right now you have to focus on what your feelings really look like.

What you mean when you say those petty phrases- I love. I hate. I feel-

 Good. Great, in fact.

What were you so upset about in the first place?

You know (even deeper in that heart of hearts) that this flows from you.

You are not the creator, nor do your ideas and opinions matter.

You are simply the conduct.

Some sort of unknown celestial passageway to that deep ocean of emotion you know everyone feels.

The rage and frustration comes from not knowing which shade can show your darkest hour.

Or what tint tells your fairytale.

The sorrow is when you give up.

Blueblueblueblueblueblueblueblueblueblueblueblueblue.

I strive to be blue.

Blue is calm. Quiet.

Blue is composure, if you can dig it.

Blue is not some loopy spontaneous blast of an orange.

Blue is not the goopy morbid tendrils of black.

Blue is not the deep greens of jealousy.

Blue is not the blooming red bloodshot of anger.

Blue is not the presumptuous arrogance of purple.

Blue is the color of independence and realization.

Blue is the ability to stand out in a sea of mixed colors.

Blue is relaxation. Peace. Contentment.

I strive to be blue.

Idioms, in the form of what I assume a dog might feel sometimes.

·         To be put on the back burner

·         Driving me insane

·         Apple of my eye

·         To add fuel to the fire

It’s driving him insane every time you ignore him.

He was once the apple of your eye, but now you have a new one.

Not only have you put him on the back burner,

You’re just adding fuel to the fire.

He watches, he waits.

For the moment when you,

His master

Abandon your love life for a trusted friend

One to keep the demons inside from coming out

Because (unlike her) it’s his job to love you no matter what

And it’s time to get to work.

My Take On e.e. cummings

I love you much (most beautiful darling), more than words can say.

But these things you keep telling me- they urge me to stay away.

Who pays any attention to the sick suggestions in your mind?

When you smile and touch and laugh with her- I see it all the time.

I have finally found what you are like, and there’s nothing about what I see

That says you’re a good person, or that you’re who you make yourself out to be.

It may not always be so, and I say what’s been lurking behind your smile

Is just another dastardly bastard looking to hurt and defile

If you lie and say you love me, I’ll know there’s nothing left to do

Because it was wrong of me to ever love someone like you.

Eulogy

We all remember these types of days

And feeling so alone

When laughter dies and smiles fade

And the day has a somber tone

You have to remember, this is your chance

To become stronger again

Wipe away your tears, cast out your fears

And think of the time we spent

Let it be my last wish in this world-

No one that knew me can be sad

Because every time my world began to drown me

You were always there to hold up my head

And anytime I needed you

You were always within sight

I realize it could be hard to give up what you’ve known

But I know for a fact it’ll be alright.

Words cannot describe my love for you

And everything you sacrificed for me

Now I’d like to say one final thing

Before this supposed “eternal sleep”

Nothing is certain, this much I have learned

Living is not just going by what you’ve heard

Life is one of those mysteries no one can ever figure out

But what is the human experience without a little doubt?

I was happy, I was free.

There’s not a single thing I regret.

And I this I know I can promise-

I’ll wait for you in the clearing at the end of the path.

I was so Inspired by Your Drawings!

Inspired by a drawing of geometric shapes:
So
Horiffically
Amazing
Peter is
Excited
Salami

Inspired by a drawing of a Muscle Man:

This guy likes his guns
It's obvious, don't you see?
Look at his muscles-
They are so big it's scary!
I don't want to make him mad...

Inspired by a picture of the Ocean:

Ocean

Stormy, fishy

Churning, spinning, drowning

Blue, sand, orange, gritty

Motionless, dry, scary

Hot, empty

Desert

Responding To Music

  
 Lindsey Stirling
1. The video gives me a kind of laid-back Sunday thrift store shopping feeling.
2. The dancing adds a bit more passion to the music Stirling is performing. It makes it seem like the music is bursting out of her.
3. The music makes me feel happy, like I'm literally moving forward or going on an adventure.

4. This music makes me think of the blue lady in The Fifth Element, when they mix opera and club beats to produce a brand new type of music.

5. Wow. Well, the story itself is very interesting to me. I think to dance that way takes a lot of energy, practice, and determination. She was right with the orchestra as well, and that takes some serious skill and reaction time. I was also especially impressed by how the dancer made it appear that she was almost a corpse dancing, I can only imagine how much work she put into that.

Igor Stravinsky

6. I'm not really sure what type of performance I was expecting from this ballet. I definitely wasn't expecting it to be so dark and scary, that's for sure!

7. It's kind of hard to say what music is counter-culture, because it seems like people try to make unpopular things popular. Everyone just wants to be unique, so they will latch onto whatever genre or style they know isn't so trendy. Eventually those things do become trendy, and the 'hipsters' just move on to something else no one likes, and it repeats.

8. I think the music that expresses me the best is 'hardcore' music with maybe a bit of harmony, simply because that's the best way to describe the way my emotions are, and how they whiplash.

9/ I was really surprised by rap and hip-hop. I used to refuse to even listen to rap, but I've come to realize the skill, talent, and passion involved. With the good stuff, anyway.

Teachers and Their Music

     I went to interview Mrs. Hopke. She is always very fun to talk to, and her answers are very interesting. When asked about what type of music reminded her of her childhood, she scoffed and replied, "Anything that sounds like elevator music. My parents were always very against that 'rock and roll', so they only listened to soft types of music. She went on to tell me some of her favorite bands, which include Cheap Trick, Journey, and anything relating to Rob Thomas. Mrs. Hopke and I then went on to discuss which concerts she had been to in the past, including Matchbox 20, Steve Perry without Journey, and Journey without Steve Perry, Brian Adams, and Cheap Trick. Her favorite radio station to listen to is 95.5. Mrs. Hopke doesn't really find any types of music to be offensive, but she's not a big fan of the 'vulgar' music.

     I actually really like Mrs. Hopke's style of music. I used to listen to those types of bands when I was younger myself, and I've never had anything against them.

Music is... Awesome.

1.       Music does so many things for me- I can be having the worst day ever, but if I have my music, I can get through it. It’s almost like my headphones are my shield and sanctuary form my life. I think everyone needs a few minutes every now and then to let themselves get absorbed into their music. Music offers happy feelings after a sad day, or maybe a little calm to a hectic week. You can listen to any song, and that song can transport you to any emotion you want it to. Each person associates different things with different songs, so really, it’s up to you.

2.       Sunsets Are For Muggings: This is for the kids who ain't got no soul. Never think twice, got nowhere to go. This is for the pills that never f**king work, but it's hard to see blood on a black t-shirt. They'll never understand because they were understood. An 'open minded' fake in a bright white coat. Tell me what you wanna know about my bleeding f**king heart. I'll pass all your tests, because I've learned to lie from the best. Life is a fight. They never really listen because they never f**king cared. The way I feel inside they could never f**king hear. All they wanna know about is your insurance card. The pain I've kept inside just made me f**king strong. I never found a place I felt I fit. I never met someone who gave a s**t. but I believe in what we f**king got, and now's our chance to set it off. Let's take a stand against feeling lost, this is our chance to set it off. You'll never take me alive, because we're already dead. You'll never take me alive, because we're already dead inside.

My favorite song changes a lot depending on different things that happen in my life, but I would have to say that this is my all-time favorite. The lyrics are very meaningful to me, because they really describe the angry hateful person I’ve managed to defeat within myself. I’m still angry about a lot of things, hence the reason I like the angry tone (you should hear it), but it also has a kind of hope and inspiration to it. I can listen to this song and think, ‘Yeah, this sucks and this sucks and this sucks, but it’s ok. Life moves on. It’s time to move past the bad feelings.’ I have my tougher days, but without my music I wouldn’t have anything at all.

Famous Lines From Famous Books

First Line: “In the town, there were two mutes and they were always together.”

                This line is from the novel The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, which was published in the year 1940 by the author Carson McCullers who lived from 1917-1967. This author is also known for other works, including The Ballad of the Sad Café and The Member of the Wedding.

                From what I can understand from the several page summaries of this book, the story kind of follows around this deaf mute named Singer, and all the people he touches in his life. They all make him what they want him to be in their lives, despite his obvious lack of communication.

                Upon looking at all the reviews for this novel, it seems that most critics give The Heart is a Lonely Hunter  4 and 5 stars. I actually have yet to come to a review that was lower than that.  According to them, this book is truly a masterpiece.

 Last Line: “Come, children, let us shut up the box and the puppets, for our play is played out.”

                This line is from the novel Vanity Fair: A Novel without a Hero, which was published in the year 1847 by the author William Makepeace Thackeray who lived from 1811 to 1863. This author is also known for other works, including Catherine and The Book of Snobs.

                The book follows two girls, and a never-ending fair held in a town called Vanity to symbolize human’s attachments to physical possessions. It contains a lot of satire, and was written in the 1800’s so I would imagine it might be odd to just pick up and read.

                Many reviews say that it’s almost hard to stay interested in the story because there’s so much drama between the two girls. Naturally, I haven’t read the book so I’m not totally convinced it’s true. Surely if it was that terrible, I wouldn’t have ever heard of it.

Memorable Passage

“Perhaps you saw what place our universe plays in the scheme of things — as no more than an atom in a blade of grass. Could it be that everything we can perceive, from the microscopic virus to the distant Horsehead Nebula, is contained in one blade of grass that may have existed for only a single season in an alien time-flow? What if that blade should be cut off by a scythe? When it begins to die, would the rot seep into our universe and our own lives, turning everything yellow and brown and desiccated? Perhaps it's already begun to happen. We say the world has moved on; maybe we really mean that it has begun to dry up.
"Think how small such a concept of things make us, gunslinger! If God watches over it all, does He actually mete out justice for such a race of gnats? Does His eye see the sparrow fall when the sparrow is less than a speck of hydrogen floating disconnected in the depth of space? And if He does see... what must the nature of such a God be? Where does He live? How is it possible to live beyond infinity?

Suppose that all worlds, all universes, met at a single nexus, a single pylon, a Tower. And within it, a stairway, perhaps rising to the Godhead itself. Would you dare climb to the top, gunslinger? Could it be that somewhere above all of endless reality, there exists a room?...
"You dare not."
And in the gunslinger's mind, those words echoed: You dare not.”

                                  -Walter, The Gunslinger

This passage stuck with me because no one really knows what existence is all about, and if it really came down to it, I don’t think many would really want to know. We’re happy living in our own little world, even while we dream about everything outside.

Writers As Readers

1.       There are few things better that curling up in front of my fireplace with a blanket, some cookies and a can of soda. I have to be careful though- I just might stay down there for hours!

2.       I really enjoy reading adventure/horror stories. They have just enough excitement to make me want to keep reading, and just enough horror to keep me on my toes. I know a book is really good if it makes me scared while I’m eating cookies!

3.       I would like to say that my writing style is like Stephen King’s, but his is so much better than mine. He can really hook you into a story with his words. He also knows how to make you and the character one. Eventually, it’s not the character in the story having an adventure, it’s you. I really admire that in a writer.

4.        I don’t have a specific memory associated with reading, mostly just because I’ve done it so much. I do recall bawling my eyes out when one of the characters in a book died- I had read about that character for eight books, and it almost felt like I was losing a friend.

5.       The Dark Tower series was a series that took me a couple months to finish, but believe me, that’s a lot of reading. I couldn’t put the things down. I will admit though, the first book of the series wasn’t too enthralling- I really had to work to finish it. After that it was like one after the other.

6.       My first reading teacher was my dad. I remember he used to read us stories before we went to bed. He quit after a while, but it was fun while it lasted. I would say that really influenced my interest in reading.

This is What I Daydream About.

                I don’t ever want to forget the stress I’m under right now. There are so many things to just sit there and worry about. Money’s the biggest part. We live in a world today that can not function without it. We have bills- thousands of bills (so it seems)-mortgage, utilities, storage phone, cars, T.V, gas, groceries, random school dues, groceries…. The list keeps going, and we have to factor in that it’s for 6 people. Our paycheck take care of these hinderances, hiding them from our mind’s eye every month. Paychecks come from jobs. Jobs require a method of transportation. Good thing we have 3 vehicles!

                Something happens (no one really knows what), and BAM! There goes Car #1. It’s ok. We can overcome that. We still have two more for now, but we have to have the first one back. Hundreds of dollars we don’t have, and a few “Well I guess that wasn’t it”s later, and I’ve lended all the money I am capable of lending to my parents. The car remains motionless in the garage. They say they’ll pay me back, but I know they can’t. Mom STILL doesn’t have a job, and both retirements are already gone.

                Dad works 13/14 hour shifts everyday and comes home late every night just to keep the lights on. Mom drives us from work to school each day. I work to try and save up to move out. There’s never enough money. Family comes before self, don’t I know that? But I don’t mind. College must wait. Life must wait. I work. I go to school. I clean. I dream. I work. You have to remember not to stand up too fast- you’ll pass out.

                God is mad at us. He strikes Car #2 right in it’s oily veins, in a place where only mechanics with scheming brains and deep pockets can reach. We cry. And worry. And cry some more. My dad uses the only operating vehicle, which is an old pickup that only he knows how to drive. And it was shifty to begin with. I can’t work without a car. If the truck breaks down, we’ll lose everything. Bill collectors don’t care about recessions, family emergencies, hospital admittances… they just want the money.

                I have to remember the way my heart seizes up any time I think about the past and the present, and I am terrified of the future.

                I have to remember the look in my little brother’s eyes when he doesn’t understand that we just can’t get macaroni and cheese this month. We can’t afford it.

                I have to remember that I never ever ever want to feel this stressed and desperate ever again.

                I have to remember that my future and the future of my children will be different.

                I have to remember not to give up. We’ll get through this. We always do.